There was Aristóteles , a scarred gray rat who wrote scathing critiques of Kant’s categorical imperative from a Marxist perspective. Sor Juana , a white-furred female who had single-handedly corrected every mistranslation of Ovid in the university’s copy of the Metamorphoses . And El Jefe , a massive, one-eared brown rat who had once been a lab animal before escaping and dedicating his life to statistical analysis. He wore a tiny vest made of a recycled postage stamp.
“Savages,” the rat would mutter, chewing thoughtfully. “Absolute savages.” RATOS-A- DE ACADEMIA -
“Page one hundred forty-two: ‘The verb ‘to be’ in Mycenaean Linear B…’—incorrect. The dative plural is missing the iota subscript. Fail. ” There was Aristóteles , a scarred gray rat
Sor Juana raised a paw. “Too crude. We are academics, not vandals. I propose we leak his expense reports .” He wore a tiny vest made of a recycled postage stamp
The crisis came when the Dean announced the closure of the Philology department. “Low enrollment,” he said. “No return on investment. We’re converting the building into a ‘Digital Innovation Hub.’”