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Right. Well... thank you.

Seriously, though – living on Craggy Island, you learn that small victories matter. Like getting the heating to work for more than an hour. Or convincing a visiting priest that you didn't accidentally start a small cult based on a misprinted hymn sheet. Again.

Anyway. Thank you very much. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go and stop Dougal from trying to "return" the award for store credit.

I wasn’t expecting this. No, really – I actually had a speech prepared for losing. It was much shorter. Just said, "Fair play," and sat down. So you’ll have to bear with me.